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The development of the Purple Line hit a peculiar snag on campus this week. A group of protesters from the outspoken campus club Virtuous Terps descended upon a train car undergoing testing at UMD’s Baltimore Avenue station on Monday. The group managed to carry the car through Paint Branch Trail before dumping it in Lake Artemisia.

The Virtuous Terps have become well known around campus for their zealous activism, often disrupting to draw attention to their wide range of complaints about the university. Though the club cites “rampant impurity of heart and spirit” at Maryland as their primary motivator, its vague reasoning and violent methods have drawn ire from the campus community. 

Bizarre or outright nonsensical acts are a hallmark of Virtuous Terps protests, a notable example being their interruption of Maryland football’s home opener against Hampton on Saturday. A group of club members ran a wheelbarrow filled with $6.4 million in two-dollar bills onto the field just before kickoff, before proceeding to urinate inside it in unison. One club member managed to yell “This is a better use of money than Locksley’s contract!” through a megaphone before he and the rest of the group were tackled by security.

Another fixture of the club’s campus protests is the numerous signs they carry, often containing various inflammatory statements pertaining to the university. These were prominent at the site of the downed train, with the students wielding signs containing messages such as “DOTS ARE WITCHES!” and “PLAGIARIZER PINES, STEALING IS A SIN!” 

Virtuous Terps protester Wyler Toecheese carried a particularly large sign, which listed several groups of people who he said “will be going to hell without repentance.” The list included “PYON CHENNERS,” “JERSEYITES,” “CS MAJORS,” “VEO RIDERS,” and “TERPAI USERS” among others. Large red text at the bottom of the sign read “MOVE FEARLESSLY FORWARD TOWARD FORGIVENESS!” 

A Hare reporter who arrived at the scene approached Toecheese for comment, who simply said: “We won’t contribute to any of the blasphemy you filthy long-ears put in print.” The protester then attempted to engage our reporter in a fight before cursing him to walk on thorns for eternity. As a result, this reporter has been granted anonymity.

Witnesses of the train destruction reported extreme bewilderment. Sophomore Sarah Mescaline had previously heard of the Virtuous Terps and their zeal before finding herself at the scene on Monday, and she left with no answers. “I tried getting an explanation out of one of the guys chanting, but he just threatened to take me to small claims court if I kept talking to him.” 

Several eyewitnesses reported that some protesters made repeated derogatory comments toward their clothing and other facets of their appearance. One junior in particular recounted nearly being hit with water from a protester’s spray bottle after he took notice of her purple hair and piercings. Protesters also egged on bystanders to “disrupt the gospel, tear us down, so you can finally realize the fear of God!”

The antics of the Virtuous Terps members were put to rest about a half hour after the train was disposed of as campus police arrived at Lake Artemisia. Despite some resistance from the protestors, including one individual dousing an officer in holy water, all disruption was rapidly quelled. 

Despite the fallout from their latest stunt, it appears Virtuous Terps members have no plans to rein in their protests. In fact, Hare field reporter Fuzz Williams witnessed a few club members entering the campus farm, intending to let the animals loose in order to combat what one protestor called “animal cruelty.” Before they could make any progress, Testudo emerged from behind the farm with a golf club and chased them off.